Tales of Love, Loss, and Resilience

Grief, they say, is a lifelong journey. There are moments when giving up feels tempting, and there are times when I’m overwhelmed by sadness and depression. At other times, contentment or happiness briefly appear, creating an endless loop of emotions that I navigate, jumping from one stage to another.

The realization hit me hard when I couldn’t celebrate Mother’s Day or birthdays with you. It stung when I couldn’t share my heartbreak stories or seek your opinions because, truth be told, I’m clueless as hell. The weight of your absence intensified as I envisioned you missing my wedding day, not there to witness my ear-to-ear smile, or being absent for the birth of my first child. The hardest realization? That I had to carry on without you by my side through life’s leaps, ups and downs, and achievements.

To my dearest Ibu, I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. A mere ‘thank you’ can’t express my gratitude. It has to be something more, something deeper. I acknowledge I’m not the perfect daughter, and I still fall short.

And in this world, she is my world- Pierre Jeanty.

Thank you for molding me into the strong woman I am today.
Thank you for making the impossible seem achievable.
Thank you for teaching me that everything is figure-outable.
Thank you for reminding me that, after every storm, a rainbow follows.
Thank you for always striving to give me the best life has to offer.

In the moment you departed, my heart shattered in two,
One side is filled with memories, and the other side is with you.
Under the quiet night, as the world in slumber lies,
I stroll down memory lane, tears welling in my eyes.

Remembering you, a simple task I do each day,
Yet missing you, a constant heartache refusing to sway.
In my hand, I cradle you, a cherished, enduring part,
As life unfolds without you, eternally changed at heart.

Yearning for a glimpse of you, a return to days of yore,
Yet impossibility echoes, your voice heard no more.
In silence, I find solace, a whispered prayer takes flight,
Seeking strength from the divine to endure this endless night.

Through heartache and sorrow, a struggle to endure,
I lean on faith’s pillars, praying for courage so pure.
In the tapestry of loss, where threads of sadness weave,
God, grant me strength, the strength to believe.

You live on in my silence, between my thoughts and prayers. Al-Fatihah.